So, This Is Reverb 10: Achieve

The prompt

What’s the thing you most want to achieve next year? How do you imagine you’ll feel when you get it? Free? Happy? Complete? Blissful? Write that feeling down. Then, brainstorm 10 things you can do, or 10 new thoughts you can think, in order to experience that feeling today.

My response

Next year, I want to achieve some sort of a balanced lifestyle for myself: a big girl job that makes me want to get out of bed every morning*, a satisfying social life, family time and -- who knows? -- maybe a relationship thrown in there as well.

Once I achieve this, I imagine I'll feel content and at ease, but most importantly, I bet I'll feel satisfied. Now more than ever, my days are the most unstructured they've ever been. And, well...I'm Type A to the max. Need I say more?

10 things? 10's a lot. Regardless...

Things:
1. Job hunt (but filter, filter, filter!)
2. Stay connected
3. Refresh my memory on what my core values are
4. Write, blog, 750 words it
5. Jot down what I'm grateful for each night

Thoughts:
6. Remind myself that I will find what I'm looking for
7. Positivity and optimism
8. Think big picture
9. Remember that I'm the captain
10. Know that I am enough

* That might've just sounded as if I am depressed in bed all day...not at all! But rather than take a job just to make rent/pay the bills, I want need to actually enjoy what I do.

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So, This Is Reverb 10: Ordinary Joy

The prompt

Our most profound joy is often experienced during ordinary moments. What was one of your most joyful ordinary moments this year?

My response

The other night, I joined my parents for dinner at this delicious Mexican restaurant. And then to a cowboy bar.

Seriously.

The way I tweeted it, I'm sure I sounded mortified and all, this is my family. But the truth is, I seem to becoming a little more country, a little less rock and roll every day. I listen to country music on the radio (judge away, really; I'll understand), get semi-giddy at the thought of living on some sort of ranch (hey haaay, PW!) and love the simplicity of country life.

Oh God, who am I?

That's not to say that I still don't hope to live in New York City some day in the near future, because I do. Haven't lost any of that. There's just another layer that appears to have been added on to the onion that is Ali.

(Um, that was a weird sentence.)

Anyway, back to the Cowboy Palace. Yeah, that's what it's called.

As I was sipping on my Sarsaparilla wine and watching this older generation of wannabe cowboys and cowgirls line dance (they give free dance lessons), and seeing the genuinely happy expression on my dad's face (and the 'I'm happy because your father's in pig heaven' expression on my mom's), well...I felt that ordinary joy.

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So, This Is Reverb 10: Soul Food

The prompt

What did you eat this year that you will never forget? What went into your mouth & touched your soul?

My response

Easy. The below pizza from Rome, Italy.


(Two back-to-back Rome posts? Fun.)

Seriously though, I don't think I'll ever forget it. My friend Eric and I shared it and the second we took that first bite, we knew we were partaking in something special. I'm not sure if it was the cheese, the sauce or the fact that it was made right in front of me in freaking Italy. But regardless, it was (and I think will always be) the best pizza I've ever tasted.

And I'm a New Yorker. I know good pizza.

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So, This Is Reverb 10: Photo

The prompt

Sift through all the photos of you from the past year. Choose one that best captures you; either who you are, or who you strive to be. Find the shot of you that is worth a thousand words. Share the image, who shot it, where, and what it best reveals about you.

My response

[Rome, Italy]

Yeah, this looks about right.

I can't remember who shot this one, but it was probably my friend J since she took photos 24/7. This was our roaming day in Rome (pun only sort of intended). I vividly remember a few of my friends and I getting lost en route to a famous coffee shop I just had to try (we eventually made it and daaamn, was that coffee strong).

This photo is very much me in a nutshell. It's pretty common that only part of me really, truly knows what's going on at any given time. Granted, I was posing for this photo...but my facial expression in it is pretty spot-on as far as my day-to-day life goes. Everyone around me is with it and me? Well, I'm there. Just not completely. See?

On a more technical level, I almost always have that Jessica Simpson bag slung over my right shoulder with my camera, sunglasses and a water bottle inside.

Cheeeeeeeeeeeese.

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So, This Is Reverb 10: Everything's OK

The prompt

What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead?

My response

I've had a few of these moments this year, I'm sure of that. But when you go through some crappy stuff and manage to not lose your mind? To me, that's when you know that a) things can (and better) only go up from there and b) you're gonna be a-okay.

This crappy time actually occurred just a couple of weeks ago.

Two Saturdays ago, I got into car accident #2 in my precious semi-new car, Cordelia. That sucked.

That Tuesday, (what I like to call) "a dating situation" came to an end. That sucked.

That Thursday, I realized that a person in my life wasn't meant to be in my life "in that way." (Vague much?) That sorta sucked.

The next day -- after a mere two weeks -- I lost my job.

That sucked.

The next night, over wine and cheese, I rehashed that week's events to a girlfriend of mine.

"I...don't even know what to do. I'm so sorry!" she said to me.

But that was just the thing. I was fine. I was driving a dented car, newly single and out of work, sure; but I was alright.

And that's when I knew that this all happened at the perfect time. A new year is just around the corner.

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So, This Is Reverb 10: New Name

The prompt

Let’s meet again, for the first time. If you could introduce yourself to strangers by another name for just one day, what would it be and why?

My response

Okay, I have to be honest: I'm not a big fan of this prompt. I mean, sure, I used to fantasize about having a legit middle name that wasn't a last name (maybe one day, I'll reveal that one to you) and would get mad at my parents because hello? Did they want me to be made fun of when people asked me what my middle name was (because clearly, people ask this question all the time), I told them and then they gave me this expression that was a hybrid of disgust and confusion (disfusion?)? Ashley, Olivia and Nicole were always my alternative names of choice.

Now? Now, I love my middle name because I actually know its roots and feel so special to be named after a woman who, from what I hear from my credible sources, sounded like one unbelievable woman (my great-grandmother). My first name? Well, when I was 3, I supposedly went up to my mother and told her that from that moment on, I would like to be called Ali because Alison sounded "too grown up." This was a major relief for my mother, since I had just come off an Alice in Wonderland kick (this included not ever taking off the costume and not answering to any name but Alice). I was just a joy of a child.

I've also always wondered why my parents chose the spelling they did, because this is how it goes at Starbucks: "soy latte for Ah-lee?"

Like the world famous boxer just ordered coffee.

Anyway.

I really do love my name. And can't imagine being called anything else.

Thank you and goodnight.

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So, This Is Reverb 10: Travel

The prompt

How did you travel in 2010? How and/or where would you like to travel next year?

My response

Oh man.

If you read this blog, you'll appreciate me having you just click here.

(See? I really do care.)

Next year? Australia. A long shot, but that doesn't mean I'm not gonna try. BAM.

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So, This Is Reverb 10: Future Self

The prompt

Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead? (Bonus: Write a note to yourself 10 years ago. What would you tell your younger self?)

My response

Dearest Ali,

Oh boy, is it only about to be 2011 where you are? We're heading into 2016 around these parts! Times sure have changed and let's be honest, so have you. (I'm proof.)

I have a few things I'd like to preach to share with you. I'm older, therefore I'm wiser. And technically, well...so are you. So listen up.

You and I (read: you) are anal, neurotic and slightly crazy. Let me be the first to tell you, that ain't gonna change. What can and will change is your confidence in yourself, which trickles down into every aspect of your life, neuroses included. You see Ali, once you accept and love yourself 150%, all of that other crap you find yourself dealing with on a daily basis? Falls by the wayside. Because you should not only be comfortable in your own skin, you should legitimately love who you are. I know, I know; it sounds so simple. And that's because it is!

Your passion for travel hasn't waned. You've seen some more, but you haven't seen enough (and I don't suppose you ever will!). Enough said on that front!

As for men? I highly recommend you become the world's first Jewish nun so as to avoid them at all costs. I'm kidding! Sort of. Really though, I can see you beginning to realize exactly what it is you want and don't want in a partner. I also know that you feel guilty for discovering what some of those undesired traits are for you. Don't! Knowing what you're looking for will only help you find the right fit for you.

Remember that post on your gut (love your work, by the way)? Good. Call. Because guess what? That gut of yours has still got it! I don't know how it all works, but somehow? The damn thing's never wrong. Don't ever ignore it. That would just be stupid.

I know that right now, you're gradually losing hope in the job market and in a way, yourself too. All I can say about this is that it would be in your best interest to power through this semi-sucky time. You're talented. You've got so much potential. And someday in the near future, all of that will be put to incredible use. You'll see.

I'm aware that a) this is slightly creepy, b) you have no proof that I know all of this crap to be true and c) it might feel as if the person writing this is a completely new you come age 29 (I don't like to say "almost 30," for fear that I'll see no other choice but to drink myself into oblivion). Seriously, don't worry. (Oh, that's another thing: quit your worrying all. The damn. Time! Jesus.) But really...your roots, your core? That hasn't changed a bit. The fam's still your rock, Drew's still your best friend and your love of sweet potato fries, wine and Joseph Gordon-Levitt? Still goin' strong, though it's very possible that the latter came out of the closet, in which case, um...let's partake in that "admitting we're 30" biznass I brought up before.

I could go on and on (and maybe one day I will, because this was quite fun), but it's Tuesday and Glee's coming on soon (yes, that show's still on the air but no spoilers from me, I promise). I hope you listen to me, Ali. After all, who knows you better than yourself? Am I smart or what?

Oh, and one more thing? I love you!

All my love,

Ali

PS: Might I suggest writing a letter to yourself a decade ago? That would make me...way too old. Where's the wine?

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So, This Is Reverb 10: Beyond Avoidance

The prompt

What should you have done this year but didn’t because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?)

My response

Oh wow, lots of things. I'd like to think this is always the case. I want to up and move to New York! Skydive! Drive cross-country! Drink an entire bottle of wine! (Still have yet to make that one a reality, can you believe it?)

But instead of getting uber-specific, I'm going to mash all these things (and then some) together into one giant ball and say that I haven't taken a real, giant leap of faith. Sure, I've done some stuff people consider brave, but taken a real, what-the-hell-does-she-think-she's-doing risk? Haven't done that this year. And the reason? Pure fear. Fear of failure but more importantly, fear of judgment.

I have this consistent fear in the back of my mind that people, namely my family, will disagree and judge this theoretical leap of faith. I suppose this is a disadvantage of being so, so close with your family: you care so much -- perhaps too much -- about what they think of you, your decisions, your actions. And you start to believe that their feelings, their opinions...are the right ones.

Newsflash, Ali: You are the captain of this ship called Your Life. Take control of that role!

I plan on it.

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So, This Is Reverb 10: Try and Healing

The prompt

What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did/didn’t go for it?

My response

I (think I) want to try my hand at stand-up. As in...stand-up comedy.

I've maybe told one person about this secret aspiration. Honestly? I don't know why this hasn't been a goal of mine for forever. Maybe it was Adria who got my wheels turning (Does that sound dirty? I can't tell.) Wherever it stemmed from, I think it's definitely something worth investigating. That is, if I ever manage to find the balls to actually get up on that stage and be, well...funny.

As for this past year? I wanted to go to Europe and as we all (better) know by now, I did.

The prompt

What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011?

My response

I'm staring at my computer screen right now, because good lawdy, what the hell healed me this year? "Heal" is a strong word, and I don't want to just pull something out from where the sun don't shine just to give an answer to this prompt. Instead of phoning it in (thanks, Jillian Michaels), I'm going to respond to just the second part of this prompt.

In 2011, I would like to be healed through self-love. Now I know that might sound a bit heady and/or like I'm suffering in some way. Au contraire. I don't publicize my personal issues (you know, those "we all have 'em" kind of personal issues), and I'm not about to start tonight. But if it's one thing I know, it's that we as humans are stronger than we give ourselves credit for, myself included. The kinds of things I'm (cryptically) referring to are ones I am completely in control of. I just need to dig deep within myself to find the tools to heal myself of them, and I believe one of those major tools is self-love.

Wow, did that make any sense?

Apparently, torrential downpours make me...vague.

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So, This Is Reverb 10: Lesson Learned

The prompt

What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?

My response

Oh man, I learned a lot about myself this year. And I do mean a lot. Among them? How important it is to me to open my eyes to the world around me via travel, what my core values are (more on that in another post), what I want and don't want in a relationship, and how much I love and crave my independence.

But the best thing I learned about myself this year?

I've got an incredible gut.

No, I'm not talking about killer abs (ha, I wish!). I'm talking about that sixth sense, my first instinct, female intuition. I hate to brag, but my gut is pretty bad ass. I suppose this was always the case, but I didn't truly realize and/or trust this trait in myself until this year. And understandably so! I went through several milestones in my life this year: first place of my own, new car, first solo trip abroad, a legit relationship. To name a few. And while all of these were individual experiences that had nothing to do with one another, they all share one commonality, and that is that I had to go with my gut on every single one.

Guess what? No regrets from any of those decisions. And as someone who questions herself all too often, that's a big thing for me to say.

I was talking to my dad on my way to work this morning, and he said something that really struck a chord with me.

"That's your conscience talking. And it's right. That's what makes you a good person. I'm proud of you."

My gut's telling me to apply this lesson going forward. ;)

Lesson learned.

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So, This Is Reverb 10: Friendship

The prompt

How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst?

My response

I'm going to amend this just a bit by making it more general. Rather than talk about a specific friend, I'm going to discuss what friendship has taught me this year. And it's a simple answer.

This year, I've learned that friendships take work.

I mean...yeah, that sounds pretty obvious and durg-worthy. But I never really applied this fact to myself. You know those people that you feel as if no time has gone by once you see them, but in reality it's been months or years? I loved those types of friendships. But this year, for me, those have become fewer and further between. And I think that's because I'm getting older, and as we get older, friends aren't just on the sidelines, biding their time for you. On the contrary, they're spreading their wings, doing some growing of their own and living their lives. And if neither person makes a valiant effort to be a part of the other's life? Well, chances are that that friendship will suffer, and understandably so. Relationships often fall apart because the people involved have grown apart. To me, friendships are no different. I've learned this the hard way, as I'm sure many of you have, and I'm making a real effort to be present. To not let weeks go by until the next happy hour or movie or coffee or wine night.

Growing up, we're stuck in these bubbles that allow friendships to be taken for granted, because we can always go back to them. High school, college...these life phases have pre-constructed walls that make it more difficult for friends to drift. But the second we graduate, pop! That bubble is no more, and we've got to do the work.

I'm now willing to do that work for the people that matter most to me.

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So, This Is Reverb 10: 5 Minutes

The prompt

Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010.

My response

I'll be honest; this year wasn't so chock full of things that my mind was running a mile a minute during those 5 minutes. In fact, it was sort of the opposite. I'm not sad about it, I don't feel any less fortunate...it's just the truth! That being said, here's what I came up with in those 5 minutes:

• Blogging
• Meeting fabulous ladies through blogging
• BiSC
  
• Moving out on my own
• Europe
• Happy hours at Lola's
• Coordinating production on a short film
• Standing up for myself to certain friends
• Dating a wonderful guy
• Taking an interest in yoga
• Figuring out who I am

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So, This Is Reverb 10: Appreciate

The prompt

What’s the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it?

My response

I've been taking the whole "write about the first thing that comes into my head" route with the majority of these prompts. And I think I'm going to follow suit with today's.

For me, the answer is my family, although it's just been reconfirmed how appreciative I am of them, because we've always been an extremely tightly knit bunch. And I've always recognized how very blessed I am to have the funniest and most loving father alive, a near perfect mother (I use the word 'near' only because nobody is perfect), a sister who, despite being 3 years younger than me, looks out for me every step of the way and the strongest and most hilarious grandmother on the planet.

As is the case with all families, we've certainly had our fair share of struggles, arguments and crises. But we've always come out on top and united.

On a less deep note, we've been told on numerous occasions that we simply must have our own reality show. And I have to admit that it's true; we're ridiculous. Nothing is off limits in my family, and I do mean nothing. We'd send ratings through the roof, I can assure you of that.

So, how do I express my gratitude for my family? I'd like to think I do every day, through phone calls, frequent visits home and a whole lotta laughter. My family keeps me sane, and that is not an easy task to take on.

I just love those bitches.

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So, This Is Reverb 10: Action

The prompt

When it comes to aspirations, it’s not about ideas. It’s about making ideas happen. What’s your next step?

My response

Well, let me tell ya: I've got ideas. Lots. Going through my head all day long. Who doesn't, right?

My mom used to tell me, "Ali, you've got good intentions but bad follow-through."

Thanks, Mom.

I'd like to think I've gotten better at the whole follow-through part. I mean, the satisfaction I get from crossing things off my to do lists is incentive enough for me to get 'er done (hi, Type A personality, how are you doing?). But when I read this question, I didn't think so much about my plethora of to do lists. Instead, my mind went into big picture mode. 5 year plan mode. Adult mode.

In my own time (but at the same time, in the near future), I hope to move back to New York. I also hope to be working in some form of social media, whether that's writing (preferable!) or advertising, or another avenue of the same field. I also hope to have sufficient funds to travel, whether the destination be somewhere as remote as Australia (preferable!) or as domestic and nearby as Oregon (I hear Portland is just lovely, and I'd like to see that for myself, thankyouverymuch). I hope to own my own dog as opposed to having a family dog (love you, Emma!), like a Boxer (preferable!) or a mutt.

I hope for all these things and more in my not-so-distant future. So the question is, what steps will I take to obtain them?

This question reminds me a lot of something The Joy Equation emphasizes; mapping out your plans and actually carrying them out. For me, it's all about small goals that contribute to your big ones. And that's sort of how I plan on going about all of these dreams. I've expanded my job hunt to include New York in addition to Los Angeles and San Francisco. I'm a hell of a good saver when it comes to money. I know how much work a dog is, especially a big one. And I would never take on a responsibility as big as that unless I knew I had the time to give Herman (that's my future dog's name, by the way...did I leave that out?).

So I suppose it's easier to use the umbrella terms of "planning ahead." Planning ahead, at least as much as I can, is my next big step.

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So, This Is Reverb 10: 11 Things and Body Integration

The prompt

What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life?

My response

Okay, lists are a hobby of mine. Ergo, I love this prompt.

The 11 things:
1. Negative self-talk.
2. Worrying my ass off about nothing (and everything).
3. Feeling the need to say yes to too many things.
4. Valuing other people's opinions over my own.
5. Letting one tiny little (and potentially only in my head) thing affect my entire day.
6. Putting off laundry until the last possible minute.
7. Putting too much unnecessary pressure on myself.
8. Fear of the kitchen (and anything domestic aside from cleaning, really).
9. Friendships that don't bring positivity to my life (and vice-versa).
10. Being in my head way too much.
11. Trying to be "that" person to everyone in my life.

(Wow, see a theme here?)

How I'll eliminate 'em:
1. Reverse thinking.
2. You know that saying, "Life's too short"?
3. You know that saying, "Just say no"? (sometimes, of course)
4. Put myself first.
5. See #2.
6. You know that saying, "Everyone loves clean underwear"? No? Did I make that one up?
7. See #2.
8. Try a new recipe weekly (or monthly...or yearly...).
9. Reevaluation.
10. Remind myself that 80% of that stuff is just "Ali stuff."
11. See #4.

How doing so will change my life:
1. More self-confidence.
2. More room for the good stuff.
3. More living life for me.
4. More self-love.
5. See #2.
6. More (clean) clothes.
7. See #2.
8. More options!
9. More clarity.
10. More sanity.
11. See #4.

The prompt

This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn’t mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present?

My response

Ooh, a heady question! Nice.

Um...

I felt most alive and present when I left the country, almost 4 (!!) months ago. I'll never forget arriving at Heathrow Airport, massive luggage in tow, trying to find the Tube and make it to the pre-departure meeting in time, despite the fact that my stop was towards the very end of the route (naturally). My BlackBerry wasn't working (friendly reminder: if you ever leave the country and have a BlackBerry, be sure to unlock it before you leave!). I had no one but myself. That is of course, until the trip began. Every day, every night was a new adventure. We had no idea what to expect. We were carefree. We were happy. We were beyond alive and present.

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So, This Is Reverb 10: Wisdom

The prompt

What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?

My response

I literally just went through my iCal in an effort to find something that would trigger an event in which I gained wisdom. Then I realized that that's a pretty stupid/lame way to answer this prompt.

Whoops.

But really, this is one of those questions that I feel you either have an immediate answer for or you spend at least 30 minutes thinking your ass off about. (I'm currently doing the latter.)

Just a few months ago I thought it would be wise to become a teacher, when in reality? It was the furthest from wise I could get. And that's because I was making a decision based on pressure, all of which was coming from me. My family wasn't pushing me to choose a career path that would stick. Many of my friends are going through similar growing pains, so they sure as hell weren't bugging me about it. The only person putting this pressure on myself was...myself. And pressure's where the decision to obtain my teaching credential to teach middle/high school English came from, while where it really should've stemmed from was passion.

Which is why I think that one of, if not the wisest decision I made this year was turning down a teaching-related job, along with opting not to get my credential. I made this decision not only for me, but also for the child I would be aiding at my job. After all, it just wouldn't be fair to accept a job that I wouldn't want to put my all into.

This in turn led me to The Joy Equation!

Wise(st?) decision in 2010 that led to another wise move: check!

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So, This Is Reverb 10: Party

The prompt

What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans.

My response

If you're still reading this post by the end, I commend you. No really, I do. Because I'm about to talk about -- you guessed it -- Europe. For the 1,879th time. Hooray!

It was my third third night in Europe, and my second on Contiki. We had just left Amsterdam and arrived in St. Goar, Germany. (Have you heard of it? Because every person I've brought it up to, Germans included, haven't. But I can assure you, it's there.)

We were told on the bus ride there that St. Goar was a far cry from Munich, where we were headed afterward. It is a small, quiet wine village in the Rhine Valley. The hotel was so tiny that we were advised to pack an overnight bag instead of lugging our entire suitcase inside. We would be going wine tasting soon after arriving and then? Well, we weren't expecting much.

Wine tasting was lovely. It took place in a dungeon (not nearly as creepy as it sounds), where an old fashioned winemaker told us about each of his blends and then let us taste them. Our last one was an ice wine, which I had never tried. Intense stuff.

We headed back up the street to our hole-in-the-wall hotel, and decided to hang out at the equally small bar. All I can say is that we. Brought. The party. It was only a few minutes later that a seemingly dead place was alive with Americans, Canadians, Aussies and Brits. Oh, and our German bartender too. We began to notice these tiny alcoholic drinks (as tiny as our hotel, actually), starting in Amsterdam. And they were in abundance on this night as well. Don't ask me what's in them, because I still wouldn't be able to tell you.

That night carried on way into the morning, and it involved a broken swingset (our fault), a ditch (our fault) and musical beds (very much our fault).

It was perfect.

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So, This Is Reverb 10: Beautifully Different

The prompt

Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different – you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful.

My response

I love this prompt! But I also don't, because I'm more awkward than usual when it comes to talking about myself. But I committed to this project, so here we go.

I can really only go off of what I've been told by those closest to me, and the stuff that comes up most often is that I'm funny. I mean, yes. I agree with this. I used to be all, "me? funny? nah..." but that's just not true. I'm freaking funny! And if you haven't noticed already, I've come to embrace it and appreciate that part of myself more and more, because at the end of the day? You've gotta laugh. Life is one big roller coaster (sure, everyone says that, but that's because it's the damn truth) and if you can't chuckle about it, then you're S.O.L. Humor is a major, um...thing for me. In all aspects of my life, but especially when it comes to my relationships, both romantic and platonic. If you're not funny and/or can't make me laugh? I really can't hop on board, even if I try. Sorry, it just won't work. But that's not what this post is about. (Shit, sorry.)

Aside from my sense of humor, I've also been told I'm very thoughtful. And I'm gonna have to agree with this one too. I like to make everyone feel included/involved/part of whatever it is that's going on. My dad's been preaching the need to "read a room" to me since I was little, so I know how to jive with different groups of people. This also makes me pretty outgoing. I have next to no problem being ridiculous, which I guess ties in with the funny part of me.

Huh. That was easier to write than I thought it would be. Good news, I suppose.

Side note: Reading other people's Reverb 10 posts, I'm finding myself wanting to delve a bit deeper into these questions. You guys are all so good at this! I can only hope to follow suit.

Wanna join in on Reverb 10? Just click the link to the right!

So, This Is Reverb 10: Make and Community

The prompt

What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it?

My response

Make. For some reason (actually, perhaps understandably so), I think of cooking when I hear the word "make." And a cook I am most certainly not! However. I live on my own now. Which makes me an adult (or so I keep telling myself). And adults, well...they cook. So I'm slowly but surely getting my feet wet in the kitchen.

And how annoyed am I right now that the photos I took of the recipe I'm about to write about are stuck on my camera? Quite annoyed.

Getting myself into the kitchen has not been a solo effort, though. My friend Kristen, a girl who reads cooking magazines for fun, has been coming over every so often to cook something with me, making me do the majority of the work in the process. Making Butternut Squash Pasta with Spinach and Blue Cheese was no different. Except that it was, since peeling and cutting a butternut squash is a pain in the ass, and only after we made this dish did I realize that Trader Joe's is a genius and sells it pre-peeled and pre-cut. But I digress.

It came out surprisingly well, and tasted really fattening (win) since this vegetable is really creamy and buttery tasting when pureed.

Thank you, Budget Bytes! If I remember to snag those photos off my camera, I'll post them.

Recipe found here. Try it and let me know what you think!

The prompt

Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011?

My response

Warning: predicted response ahead.

Blogging has brought so many wonderful people into my life. Sierra was my first blog-turned-real-life friend, and Katelin soon followed, through whom I met even more girls. I can't name them all, but from there it branched out into a slew of fabulous women who I probably would've never crossed paths with otherwise. I feel so grateful for these connections that, unless you're a blogger, are hard to wrap your head around. And seriously? THIS wouldn't have happened if it weren't for blogging.

As for 2011, I'd really like to work on reconnecting with my old childhood girlfriends in New York. I've been missing them quite a bit as of late, and I intend on actually doing something about it. After all, these are the girls that have known me for nearly 20 years! And I love them so.

Wanna join in on Reverb 10? Just click the link to the right!

So, This Is Reverb 10: Let Go

The prompt

What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?

My response

This is a sensitive subject for me, because I let two very special people go this year. One male, one female, both best friends of mine. I don't know if either of them read this blog, so I'm going to keep it classy (and yes, vague) and just say that I know that letting them go was in my best interest, at least for the time being. Doing so was incredibly heartbreaking, and letting go took quite a while since I hold my friendships -- especially these ones -- near and dear to my heart. But I've learned that while we all grow up, we don't always grow together; oftentimes, we grow apart. And that's just plain old life.

Wanna join in on Reverb 10? Just click the link to the right!

So, This Is Reverb 10: Writing, Moment, Wonder

So I've been in San Francisco for the past 2 days, which didn't leave much time to blog. But I am not one to not finish what I start, so without further ado, I bring you Thursday, Friday and today's reverbs.

The prompt

What do you do each day that doesn't contribute to your writing -- and can you eliminate it?

My response

This isn't an easy question. My first thought is that I put it off. I'm a fairly good procrastinator, and it's a horrible habit. But when you're unemployed? You've got no deadlines. Except guess what? I just realized that I missed a deadline yesterday.

So shit, there's that.

Can I eliminate procrastination? Of course I can. We all can. But will I? Well apparently, I'm not starting off on the right foot. We'll see.

PS? Typing this on my BlackBerry. On an airplane. Hence the cop out of a response. After tomorrow, I can assure you this won't be the case.

The prompt

Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors).

My response

Easy. Our Parisian cabaret evening at La Nouvelle Eve. All of us dressed to the nines and had a decadent four course meal pre-show. On the menu: foie gras, chicken and steak, cheese, dessert...and wine. Lots and lots of wine.

All of us girls immediately regretted devouring everything the second the curtain rose and dozens of stunning women wearing next to nothing began to sing and dance. Everything, from the vibrant colors of their headdresses and (next-to-nothing) outfits to the music, was nothing short of beautiful. The emcee brought up a few audience members, making us feel involved and special to be a part of this oh-so-very French experience. I will never forget that night at La Nouvelle Eve.

The prompt

How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year?

My response

The negative side of me wants to say, well, aside from Europe? I was pretty wonder-less in 2010. But the legit side of me knows that that's not true. And while the word "wonder" isn't the first to come to mind when I reflect on this past year, Europe opened my eyes to how much is really out there that I have yet to experience. Every day, I wonder what life is like in all the places I haven't been to yet. This is where my desire for a cross country road trip stemmed from: wonder.

So, how did I cultivate this wonder? Through travel. I feel like a broken record, but I'd be lying if I responded with anything else.

Wanna join in on Reverb 10? Just click the link to the right!

So, This Is Reverb 10: One Word

Alright, Reverb 10. Let's do this and do it good.

The prompt

Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?

My response

I just took a big sigh while putting my hands on my keyboard because wow. 2010 has been a whole lotta...confusion. And there's my word. The beginning of 2010 is when I caught the travel bug (thank you, Birthright) and decided that my life needed some pizazz, man! I was a 20-something living at home (saving a ton of money, sure but still living at home and thus, craving the independence I had only a few years prior) without a steady job and unsure what field of work I wanted that job to be in. Can you say confusing?

On top of that, I was in a dating drought. Feeling like Los Angeles had run out men (well, men for me, at least), I tried it again with a guy that I knew wasn't the least bit right for me and guess what? Surprise surprise, he still wasn't right the second time around. I'm now dating a wonderful guy, but continue to be confused. I severed ties with one of my best friends, which killed me in the beginning but taught me a lot in the end.

I moved out on my own. And then I went to Europe. And then I thought I was going to be a teacher. And then I realized that that was the wrong choice for me. And then I hit a wall (first name: Quarterlife, last name: Crisis). And then life was the most confusing. And now I'm slowly but surely getting back in the game; the game of learning what it means to live my life for me.

So, what word do I hope encapsulates 2011 for me? I'm going with explore. This coming year, I hope to replace that confusion with exploration. The exploration of who I truly am, the exploration of unturned stones, the exploration of living my best life.