So, This Little Life of Mine?

[I have this weird feeling I've used this photo before, but it matches my semi-new blog design and that makes me happy]

I'm gonna let it shine.

Yes, I realize that the actual song's lyrics are, "this little light of mine." I'm adapting it. What?

As I was driving to the doctor's office to sort out a stupid little insurance issue (hi Obama health care plan, thanks for not letting me go back on my parents' plan until the age of 26), I got to thinking about...well, this little life of mine. This current little life of mine.

Like the fact that I do not have a full time job, and how much I loathe that fact. Hi world! I'm a writer/performer/blogger/social media lover/good with kids-er. Take your pick! And better yet? Hire me after you decide what hat you think it best for me to put on. Because damn it, I can wear any of 'em well.

Like the fact that if I actually had the nerve to put something under my Relationship Status on Facebook, it would read something like, Has No Effing CLUE Because It Might As Well Be One Big Joke...but shorter. If I had the cajones to spill my dating guts on here, I can bet all my Roulette winnings that you would either run to the bathroom before peeing in your pants, pick your jaw up off the floor, or both.

Like the fact that I have so many friendships in transition. Well, not so many persay...but more than I'd like. Not that I'd like to have any friendships in transition at all, but...oh forget it, you know what I mean. In high school and college -- college especially, we feel that these are the ones that'll stick, these are the ones for life. Because there's history, there's shared blood and experiences and heartbreak and soul searching. But then you grow up/mature/age/what-have-you, and you come to the realization that you're not the only one that does all that; the people around you do that too, and of course they do. Growing up/maturing/aging/what-have-you-ing is just a part of the life puzzle. And sometimes, even most of the time really, you don't grow together. Instead? You drift apart. And if you're an emotional basket case woman like I am, you find it really freaking hard to let go. But eventually, after dealing and learning to cope with it all, you do. You let go. And you move forward.

Like the fact that I am so flawed and crazy and heart-driven and worried about life. It's such a process, being who you are. And it's easier for some people and harder for others. I'd like to think (and do believe) that I fall somewhere smack dab in the middle of that spectrum. The goal for me? To get to the far end of that, to just completely be and live and freaking laugh and love and all those cliches. Because those cliches are so damn true, damn it.

So, you know, yeah. I got to thinking about all that, which can be wrapped up all pretty and tied with a bow with the label, This Little Life of Mine. I got to thinking about that. And I could only come up with one so very predictable but so very perfect resolution.

I'm gonna let it shine.

[photo via tumblr]

It's Friday, I'm In Love

Oh, yes. It's that time again: FRIDAY! But not just any Friday...no sir, no ma'am. It's a 3 day weekend Friday!

How/why is it that 24 tiny extra hours make such a big difference?

Today, I am in love with:
-3 day weekends (betcha didn't see that one coming, did you?)
-BiSC (ditto to what I said above)

-tons of new blogs added to my Google Reader (but this time, it worked backwards: I actually got to meet the bloggers first!)
-all the Tivo catching up that's in store for me (Glee, FlashForward, SJP on various late nights -- let's do this and let's do it well)
-some new (albeit free) writing gigs I can't wait to sink my teeth into
-sleep, sleep and more sleep (seriously, it's never enough)
-exercising this weekend (I mean it, it's been missing from my life and I need/require/desire it)
-LivingSocial (think Groupon but for...well, social things; and prepare to be addicted)
-SATC 2 (sorry haters, I laughed hard and I thoroughly enjoyed it)
What are you in love with today?

So Here's the Deal(s)

Amidst the excitement of recapping BiSC, I somehow managed to forget to inform you that there are some fun perks for you guys, my readers! Well, some potential perks.

No, I mean it. Read on.

If you're going to Vegas (and you should be), and you're looking for an adorable, pink, happy place to stay, stay at The Flamingo.

More incentive?

How about a 15% discount off rooms there (including GO rooms), valid until 9/30/10? Just copy and paste the link below (offer code: SINCITY), which will take you directly there:

https://www.harrahs.com/MakeReservation.do?propCode=FLV&promotionCode=SINCITY

Why that link is multicolored, I could not tell you at this time.

And although I know this blog doesn't exactly scream sex toys, wait for it...

Take advantage of a 15% discount off any purchase from AdultSexToys.com. Seriously, do it. We saw firsthand how great this stuff is (smooches, Toy With Me) . Just head on over and type in the code YOURFUN15 at checkout. But do it soon! This deal expires on 7/31/10.

You're so welcome.

So This Is a Direct BiSC Correlation

On Monday night, while feeling like death warmed over (note to self: never accept work the day after Vegas), my mother (who is a nursery school teacher) and I had the following conversation:

Me: So, how was your day?
Mother: Good! Today was the teacher ice cream sundae play date that was raffled off.
Me: What?
Mother: The teacher play date, remember? Parents buy raffle tickets and the winner's kid gets to have a themed play date, so we had an ice cream sundae party.
Me: Oh, cute. So the parent decides on a theme and the whole class gets to worship the winning parent's child for hosting said themed play date kinda thing?
Mother: What? No. It's a kid play date with just the teachers.
Me: Right. So the entire class gets to eat ice cream with their teachers because of that one kid?
Mother: (rolling her eyes and letting out an exasperated sigh)
Me: What, mom? I'm trying to understand this. I'm SORRY.
Mother: It's a play date with the kids and the teachers.
Me: (rolling eyes and letting out an exasperated sigh) I KNOW.
Mother: No, you don't. There's only one kid involved.
Me: But you said kidSSSSS.
Mother: Because there were 2 winners!
Me: Well then.
Mother: Got it?
Me: So let me get this straight: these 2 kids got to have a play date and eat ice cream sundaes with you and your coworker?
Mother: YES.
Me: OH. So it's like when we were little, and there were raffles to win Principal for a day or do the morning announcements at school.
Mother: Yes Ali.
Me: You could have just said that.

This lack of brain power brought to you solely by Vegas.

So It's Another BiSC Post, But Why Don't You Read It Anyway?

WELL.

Shame on me for not having the motivation to recap BiSC until right. This. Second. You see, I needed to feel the inspiration to blog about such an epic event.

Inspiration? Welcome. Come, have a drink. Make yourself comfortable. Because you just might be here a while.

So, as the majority of you know, this past weekend was this amazing little (read: massive) gala (gala?) called Bloggers in Sin City. You see, this crazy amazing lady known as Nicole came up with this brilliant idea last year, and around 25 bloggers had so much fun then that it happened all over again this year.

Except this time? 69 bloggers showed up.

69 bloggers in one amazingly redone Flamingo Hotel.

With pink bathroom walls and TVs on the mirrors.

Kerri and I arrived just in time to pounce on our roommates (Steph Corwin and Morgan) and throw on something cute and theme-ish for the "I Just Came From a Theme Party" bar crawl, which began at Planet Hollywood.

After going to the wrong Planet Hollywood (there are two, what?), we arrived to the sights and sounds of...well, a shit load of bloggers.

Ev'Yan and Kerri

And my (unbeknownst to me) cowboy family.

Me, Becca and Nico

And easily accessible Twitter handles (thanks Molly, I think you're just swell).

And instant connections.

Hi Kathleen, I adore you.

And lovely strolls down the strip with equally lovely ladies.

Michelle, Ev'Yan, Kathleen, Amanda and Andrea

Then it was "let's go have pizza in Andrea, Ev'Yan and Amanda's room" time and crash/bam/thank you ma'am and goodnight time.

I think this is the appropriate time to throw in the fact that I was slightly nervous to meet said shit load of bloggers. I mean, when you think about it logically (me, logical?), the idea of such a large number of people -- most of whom haven't met and/or barely know each other -- meeting in freaking Vegas is just a tiny bit absurd. Ergo? Slightly nervous. But then I soon realized that I couldn't imagine anywhere I'd rather be.

And that was that.

I think it is also the appropriate time to mention that it was during this trip that I developed a weird thing for Donny Osmond. Mostly because my dad raves about his show at our hotel that he performs in with his sister, Marie (anyone else notice how oddly incestuous their relationship appears to be?). But that's really neither here nor there.

Onward.

Next day? POOL TIME.

Amanda, Andrea, Lilani, Kerri, Katelin, Lacey, me and Nicole

It was here that Kerri and I befriended Jason, the guy sitting next to us at the pool who informed us he was getting married that night and liked the water slide at our pool. We then deemed him? Groom On a Slide (sung to the tune of Pants On the Ground).

Try it, it's fun.

Anyway. A few games of Roulette (my new favorite thing ever in the history of ever, but only when I win, which happened quite often, which was amazing and made my head grow about 3 sizes), some yard long margaritas and ogling of a couple Sex and the City slot machines (that were never vacant because we all know that Sex and the City slot machines are just better) later, a bunch of us had a laughing fit over too many things to write in this post, I realized that my theory of always missing a spot when putting on sunscreen is true and story time with fantastic (read: very useful) prizes was a huge win. Then we got ready to go out that night and isn't this just a good looking group of bloggers?

Kori, Amanda, Nico, Amy, Ev'Yan, Kerri, Andrea and Morgan

The night was filled with Italian food (yum), wandering (hello, it's Vegas)...


...and incredible fountain adventures.

We cured our hangovers woke up for a farewell champagne brunch and toasted to being a bunch of bad ass bloggers.


But not before bidding adieu to dreamy old Donny.

So here's the thing.

I would say that this was one big and incredible experience for me, something I never would've even imagined doing this time last year, or even a mere few months ago, because if anyone would've told me that blogging could mean all of this, I wouldn't have ever believed them. Because, like so many of us say, I started this blog for me and me alone. And I still do it for me and me alone. But now? I am part of this wonderful community I never knew existed. And damn it, I feel blessed.

I could say all of that, but instead, I'll just sum it up in one sentence.

I can't wait to do it all over again next year.

So, A BiSC Post That's Not About BiSC

So.

I would tell you about BiSC, but then I'd have to kill you. *

I will, however, give you a little Leprachaun loving. Because nothing screams Monday like a...Leprachaun.

Wait, what?

Ugh, Monday. Go away.

* I haven't uploaded any of my pictures yet and what's a Vegas post without pictures?

So, About That Whole Vegas Thang...

Um, I don't know if you've heard, but this weekend? 69 (yes, that's an exact count) bloggers are being wrangled together (actually that's a lie, since we're voluntarily doing this...but that is a good word, isn't it?) in the City of Sin to...well, be absolutely ridiculous.

They call it Bloggers in Sin City. Also known as @sincitymeetup. Also known as holycrapthisisinsanethatthisishappeningandhowamazingisthis?!

Months ago, when Katelin asked me if a) I was going and b) if I wanted to be roommates, I replied with a) no and b) yes, but refer back to a) please and I think you'll understand.

Fast forward a few months later, after I met all of these freaking fabulous little ladies and I was all, it's been 2 year since I've been...why am I not going?

And thanks to Kerri, Morgan and Steph? I have a room (not to mention great roommates!) and therefore, I'm going.

In 2 freaking days.

VEGAS.

So I'm trying to prep myself, liver and otherwise.

I snagged these bathing suits and guess what? Trying them on and all that fun (read: dreaded) stuff wasn't as painful as I thought it would be. A little bit painful, yes. But not bad.

Then I was all, oh damn it. That "I Just Came From a Theme Party" bar crawl. What the hell kind of theme am I gonna go as? Then I realized Liza's got this adorable tutu thing from a photo shoot she recently did and I was all, yeah. That'll do pig, that'll do.

(Sidenote: Any BiSC-ers reading this that need an idea and wanna join in on this one? More. Than. Welcome.)

Then there's the whole packing everything else...thing. All of which I'll tackle tomorrow. Because tomorrow is not Friday, and Friday is when I'm going.

So. There's that.

Then there's all these ladies that I feel like I know but really don't know because to know someone? You kind of have to meet them, not just read their blog. The following is a list of those people.

• Mandy
• LiLu
• Kathleen
• Nicole
• Chelsea
• Jessica
• Maxie

Everyone else? If I don't already read your blog, I know I will by the end of this trip! I can't wait to meet every. Single. Damn. One of you. Never did I think that by starting this little blog 'o mine to simply write whatever I wanted, I'd find such an incredible community.

So since this will most likely be my last blog post before Vegas, see you next week. With an innumerable amount of pictures, and an equal number of stories.

Let's do this.

[images via Target and here]

Europe Envy, Vol. IV

This week's EE is...

THE NETHERLANDS
(Nederland)

[Keukenhof gardens Lisse]

The Dutch take great pride in their country, in part because they created vast stretches of it, claiming land from the ocean using dikes and canals. With most of the country's land below sea level, the task of keeping iconic tulips and windmills on dry ground has become something of a national pastime. Over the centuries, planners built dikes higher and higher to hold back the sea, culminating in a new "flexible coast" policy that depends on spillways and reservoirs to contain potentially disastrous flood waters. For a people whose land constantly threatens to become ocean, the staunch Dutch have a deeply grounded culture and down-to-earth friendliness. Time-tested art, ambitious architecture, and dynamic nightlife make the Netherlands a priority destination in Europe.

The Cold, Hard Facts
Official name: Kingdom of the Netherlands
Major cities: The Hague, Rotterdam, Utretcht
Population: 6,571,000
Language: Dutch; English is spoken almost universally

Um...yes, please?!

Psst! Check out past EEs:
-Hugary
-Italy
-Germany

[all info taken from Let's Go Europe 2010: The Student Travel Guide]

A Second Letter

Dear S,

This is my second letter to you. The first letter was very, very different than the one I'm writing you now.

Since I wrote that letter 9 months ago (wow, has it really been 9 months since you got married?), a lot has changed. You've been married for nearly a year now. I am the same, yet different. Aren't we all? But one of the biggest changes since I wrote you that letter has been that this blog of mine has become a sanctuary of sorts for me, a place where -- more or less -- I feel at ease writing about my feelings, my thoughts, my emotions. Of course, many aspects of my life, I insist on keeping personal. That will always be the case regarding certain things.

But this is not one of them. Mainly, because I know there's not a chance in hell that you'll read what I'm writing to you now. Because you don't think about this part of my life.

Which makes complete sense, because you and I are no longer friends.

Do you remember the time I wrote you that email, telling you that I had to think about myself, preserve myself and my emotions, and cut you off cold turkey? Your life was way too much for me to handle for too many reasons, and so I did something that doesn't come so easily to me: I let a good friend go.

Do you remember how you didn't think that was necessary? Do you remember trying to convince me that we shouldn't stop being in each other's lives? Do you remember when I said okay, that we could talk about it if you wanted to?

Do you remember how you never returned that call? Do you remember that, S?

All I wanted was for you to be happy. And if that meant cutting myself out of the picture because I felt I had to for my sake (and possibly for yours), then I was willing to bite the bullet and do it. What I am not willing to do is be forgotten.

And that's what you did S, you forgot.

Forgot about who we were. Forgot about your priorities (or, most likely, shifted them altogether).

But you forgot.

And I'd be lying through my teeth if I said it didn't sting.

Oh, it stings.

And yet, I still hold out hope. After all, why else would I be writing this letter to you?

Please, S...don't forget. I may be angry with you, I may be hurt. But that doesn't mean that if you came back, I'd slam the door on you.

I'm afraid I would open it. I'd open it wide and listen.

If only you'd talk to me.

Love,
A

[photo via weheartit]

It's Friday, I'm In Love: BIRTHDAY EDITION

This Friday, I'm in love with the lovely 24th birthday I had yesterday.

Allow me to break it down for ya.

Woke up and went to brunch with Liza.


I had a crepe for (what I think was) the first time. Smoked salmon, spinach and goat cheese and holy orgasmically delicious, Batman.


And a mimosa, of course. How can you not at a place called Champagne?


Then we headed over to Crumbs to pick up some cupcakes for later. Sierra, thank you so much for my gift card there! You know me way too well.


Came home to an amazing package from my ox, aka Sonja.


The contents: a personalized coffee mug, makeup and the sweetest card. I was so touched and felt so grateful.

I then had an interview for an internship. Aaaand I'm not taking it and that's all I'll say about that!

Needed a pedicure, so I got one. The color? My Chihuahua Bites. Best. Nail polish name. Ever.

It was at this time that I got the sweetest birthday phone call from Amber, and it just made me very happy and very grateful for friends like her.

My friend Cory came over after that, and brought me a cupcake (you can never have too many, especially on your birthday) and a photo album for my upcoming trip to Europe. So, so thoughtful!

I relaxed until it was time for dinner. We went to Yamashiro, a new favorite of mine. Delish. However, getting to Yamashiro? Not so delish. We got stuck in parking lot style traffic, and by the time we got to the restaurant, we were so exhausted. Kind of a bummer, but such is life.


After that exhausting experience, we came home and had cupcakes/opened presents/laughed our asses off at our evening.


And took the cliche family pic, of course.


And got cupcake happy.


Then Molly and I conked the hell out.

All in all? A lovely birthday.

Tonight, a few friends, Liza and I are going out for a little celebration. Should be fun.

And I want to thank all of you for your wishes. You all mean so much to me. So much!

Bring it on, 24.

24

I just want to say...

...on behalf of R. Patz and I...
...thank you for all the Happy Birthday wishes, tweets, comments, Facebook shout outs, etc. You all mean the world to me and helped in a big way to make this birthday one to remember.

All my love,

Europe Envy, Vol. III

And now for your weekly dose of what sounds like a drug but really isn't, but then again, I'm sure once you go, you get just as addicted EE.

Read the past couple EEs here and here.

This week's country is (for you, Sonja)...

GERMANY
(Deutschland)

[Munich]

Encounters with history are unavoidable in Germany, as changes in outlook, policy, and culture are manifest in the country's architecture, landscape, and customs. Glass skyscrapers rise from concrete wastelands; towns crop up from fields and forests, interspersed with medieval castles and industrial structures. World-class music rings out from sophisticated city centers, while a grittier youth culture flourishes in quite different neighborhoods. Such divisions echo the entrenched Cold War separation between East and West. Today, nearly 20 years after the fall of the Berlin Wall, Germans have fashioned a new identity for themselves. Visitors will find flowing beer and wondrous sights from the darkest corners of the Black Forest to the shores of the Baltic Sea.

The Cold, Hard Facts
Official name: Federal Republic of Germany
Capital: Berlin
Major cities: Cologne, Frankfurt, Hamburg, Munich
Population: 82,401,000
And the necessary beer fact: 111.6L consumed per capita (a whole lot of beer)!

[all info taken from Let's Go Europe 2010: The Student Travel Guide]

Can I Get a Volunteer?

I'm unemployed. Also known as? Looking for work, needing a job, having a crap ton of free time and not exactly having enough things to do to fill up said crap ton of free time.

But as I was perusing Glamour the other night (love this month's cover, by the way), I was very struck by the following (and added my two cents in when I felt the need, ha!):

We know: You're busy, money-crunched and probably working more than ever (eh, nahsomuch). How can you possibly volunteer now? Because the payoff for you is huge. Consider: 63 percent of volunteers say giving back has positively affected their careers, one survey found (dayum!). And another survey showed that more than 78 percent of professional women who volunteer say the experience helped them develop leadership and communication skills (score).

Volunteering may also make you healthier: Studies show that those who donate their time (less than an hour a week!) have lower incidences of heart disease and depression, plus longer life expectancies. And with this historic recession driving up rates of unemployment, hunger and homelessness, let's face it: There's more need now than ever for volunteers.

OK, you're convinced. So how to find the time? Input your zip code and interests at volunteermatch.org for opportunities in your area. For the very busy, check the "Virtual Opportunities" box for ways to help from the comfort of your couch. "This offers the most flexible schedule and lets you donate skills like building a nonprofit's website or writing a business plan," explains Robert Rosenthal, spokesman for volunteermatch.org. "You gain experience, and they gain critical services they couldn't otherwise afford."

And it doesn't have to be a multiyear commitment. Glamour features director Veronica Chambers took one hour to read poems to fifth graders at a school near her house during National Poetry Month. "You think, Oh, volunteering, I'm way too busy right now," she says. "But I loved feeling like I was part of my neighborhood." Encouraged, she volunteered again with a teen journalism program. That time, "I met an online editor who gave me one of the best jobs of my career." Inspiring a future poet or community leader while getting ahead yourself? Not bad for less time than it takes to get your cut and color.

And what do you know? I've had VolunteerMatch bookmarked for months. So I went on there today and bam! Tons of great, reputable volunteer organizations all around the country that cater to an equal number of needs, from animals to the environment and back again. Volunteering is something I've always wanted to do, but for some reason just never got around to doing (lame, I know). And as I kept thinking about it, I realized that I just might discover a passion I never knew I had. Win-win.

So as I try and figure out which organization I want to volunteer at (one definitely involving animals), I urge anyone and everyone who has the time (and wants!) to help out to check out VolunteerMatch.

Have you volunteered before? If so, where/why/how?

Europe, Here. I. Come.

On September 2nd, I will be on a plane to Europe.

Yes, you read that right. I, Ali, after all her bitching and complaining and talk of wanderlust, am officially traveling to Europe for 2 weeks.

No, 2 weeks is not what I had planned for all this time. What I had planned on doing was traveling for at least a good month, preferably on my own. But after talking with my family and friends, and reminder after damn reminder that I'm an adult and thus have to make adult decisions and think big picture and all that crap I didn't have to do as a child because my parents did it all for me I must consider now that I'm (about to be) 24 years old (in 3 days, yikes), I came to what (I'm pretty sure) is the best decision for me right now: 2 weeks of Europe with a group of people, ages 18-35.

And as my mom gently reminded me as I was freaking out about feeling like I was settling, this will not be the only time I'm going to Europe.

So now that that's all out of the way, let's get to the good stuff, shall we?

My trip.

8 countries
Belgium (in transit), Netherlands, Germany, Austria, Italy, Vatican City, Switzerland, France

Route
London - Amsterdam - Rhine Valley - Munich - Austrian Tyrol - Venice - Rome - Florence - Lucerne - Paris - back to London - home

Highlights (to name just a few)
-Glockenspiel and Marienplatz in Munich
-Piazza Venezia, Trevi Fountain, Pantheon, Piazza Navona, Colosseum and Roman Forum in Rome
-St. Peter's Basillica in Vatican City
-Duomo, Basilica Santa Croce, Giotto's Bell Tower, Baptistry and Piazza della Signoria in Florence
-Eiffel Tower, Arc de Triomphe, Louvre, Champs El Élysées and Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris

All in just 14 days! Phew.

And now for some EE, Vol. II (I've only done this "series" once, you can find that here)...

By the way, from now on, I'm only going to feature the countries that I'll be visiting now that I know my itinerary. I hope that's alright with you!

The country that I'm most excited about visiting.

ITALY
(Italia)

[Florence]

With offspring from Michelangelo to Armani, Italy has carved a distinct path through the centuries, consistently setting a world standard for innovation and elegance. Steep Alpine peaks in the north, lush olive trees in the interior, and aquamarine waters along the Riviera provide only a few of the country's breathtaking vistas. Indulging in daily siestas and frequently hosting leisurely feasts, Italians seem to possess a knowledge of and appreciation for life's pleasures, while their openness lets travelers ease into Italy's relaxed lifestyle.

The Cold, Hard Facts
Official name: Italian Republic
Capital: Rome
Major cities: Florence, Milan, Naples, Venice
Population: 58,145,000
Language: Italian; some German, French, and Solvene
That's what she said Fun fact: The longest salami was made by Rino Parenti in Zibello and was displayed on 11/23/2003...at 486.8m long!

I'm doing this.
I'm actually doing this.
Pinch me.

[all info taken from Let's Go Europe 2010: The Student Travel Guide]

My Sister's Kiiiind of Talented

Warning: Shameless self family promotion coming your way.

Did you know that Liza sings? Actually, did you know that that's all Liza really hopes to do in her life? Sing, write music and perform her work?

Well, now ya know.

I am telling you this now because her new songs are hot off the press and will be made into an EP soon. Exciting!

Therefore, I made this cute little button you see on the right. Or maybe you didn't see it before, but you will now because here it is.


It connects directly to her Facebook music page, so if you have the time, please feel free to head on over there and listen to some fun songs!

I'm proud of her. We're related. It's cool.

Thanks!

It's Saturday (but I'm still in love with Friday)

And still, I didn't end up doing it last night.

So this installment of the It's Friday, I'm In Love series is a day late.

[thank you, Summer girl]

Today, I am in love with:
-random lunch dates and iced tea on the porch with an old friend
-Liza coming home from Israel (and presenting me with an adorable journal and turquoise earrings; she knows me too well)
-fun times with new and fabulous people, especially when half off bottles of wine are involved
-planning my trip and having it become more and more real with every passing day
-stacks of new magazines just waiting to be read; speaking of which...
-finishing a really amazing book and starting what I know will be an equally wonderful new one
-knowing that summer is just around the corner
-knowing that Vegas is just around the corner
-my Reebok EasyTones[work that booty!]

What are you in love with today?

So There's That

The cycle goes something like this.

I wake up every morning around 9:15/9:30. That's not too late, right? But then I think about all the people who have jobs that wake up at normal times like 6:30 or 7 or (and I cringe at this time but I've done it before so I know I'm capable of it, I just hate the mere thought of it) 5:30 and then bam, I wake up at 9:15/9:30 feeling pretty damn guilty. But then there's that whole, well...I could get up earlier and get all my shit done but then I'll have the remainder of the day free and do a whole lotta nothing when I could've spread my shit out and felt more productive and useful than I do now that it's all done.

So there's that.

I wake up, I get my coffee (3 Splendas and a tablespoon of creamer, thankyouverymuch) and I open up the trusty old Mac and see how overwhelmed or relaxed my Google Reader's feeling this morning. Generally? He (yes, he's a guy) is feeling good. I make him feel even better by relieving him of some of the pressure that is holding all of those blog posts. And why/how I've managed to personify a concept as simple as blog reading, I could not tell you. I ask you to just roll with it, and thank you for doing so. After cleaning out the Google Reader, I consider updating my own blog but then I wonder if it would be a smarter and more responsible move to job search instead because holy crap, I am unemployed but don't feel bad for me, really, because I've been working in television since graduation and going from job to job is just the nature of this particularly nasty beast so it's not like I got laid off, no no...the shows I worked on wrapped and therefore, so did my job.

So there's that.

I'll either job hunt or I won't. And as much as I hate to admit it (and believe me, I do), more often than not, I'll convince myself that it's a wasted effort and concentrate more on writing my ass off because if I want to be a writer (which I do, I really, really freaking do), I should practice my craft and perfect what I know I kick ass at, right? So I do. But then it hits me all over again that holy crap, I'm not getting paid for this and in an ideal world, I wouldn't give a rat's ass that I was writing pro bono because hello? I love it and they say if you love something, you'll never work a day in your life. I agree. But that saying doesn't exactly ring quite as true when you're trying desperately to move out and go back to being that independent woman you know you also kick ass at.

So there's that.

Then comes the time where it hits me that I want to be social Ali. Then it hits me that in order to see my friends, I need to drive down to LA where they all live (and I do mean all of them) because when you are pretty much the only one who lives a way's out, what kind of sense does it make to drive to where the minority resides (no sarcasm there, seriously...it's the truth)? So I make plans and get in my car, drive to LA and silently remind my 128,000 mile old SUV that it's gonna be okay, that we're doing this for my sanity. But sometimes, you know, I feel for my car. She's (yes, this one's a lady) been through so much: visiting days at camp in upstate New York, numerous back and forth journeys from Irvine to the valley and back again, the list goes on. Sometimes, I can just picture her huffing and puffing and looking at me with these eyes as if to say, "Ali, I don't know how much longer I can keep up this Wonder Woman act" and I get it, I do. And not to steal her thunder or anything, but driving takes a lot out of the driver too, you know? Not to mention your wallet. So there are times where I will just throw in the towel and say to myself, you know what? I just don't have it in me today or tonight (mostly tonight). And then I feel like a massive flake, and flakes are gross. But Ali and her woman need to kick their feet up.

So there's that.

And not a day goes by that I don't think about getting my sorry ass to Europe. After all, that is my number one priority right now, and it will continue to remain numero uno until I am on that plane headed overseas. A job most definitely takes a backseat when you know that you just won't be satisfied with your life, no matter how hard you try, until you've seen more of the world you live in. For me, it's as simple as that. I know my parents hate the idea of me staying on my own a little while after my tour ends (oh, that's my plan...did I mention that yet?). I understand that in our world today, a single, 24-year-old woman (woman sounds so grown up, but isn't that what I am at this point?) traveling solo through a place where she doesn't even speak the language is recipe for disaster in a parent's eyes, but what about me? This all finally reached a breaking point last night after dinner between my mom and I. Oh, it was a barrel of fun, and by fun, I mean my mom refusing to continue the conversation, resulting in me just losing my cool and grabbing nothing but my car keys (not even my phone, I'm so smart) and driving away.

So there's that.

We made up, of course. We're a family, we live together, we fight. It's normal. Well, as normal as our family can be anyway. After reading this, I don't think I need to convince any of you that we're (read: I) out of our damn minds, mostly in good ways. So in essence, I guess I blame my family for me being this way. And I blame them in mostly good ways. I am who I am in a major part, because of them. But I've also got a lot of learning and living left to do (anyone just have that Bye Bye Birdie song pop in their heads?), and that needs to be done on my own. And if this cycle doesn't end, well...I'm gonna have to start substituting my coffee for tequila.

So there's that.

This is all to say...

See why I need to get my sorry ass to Europe in the fall?

Psst...

I'm over here today, sharing some personal stuff I never thought I'd divulge....well, ever. So feel free to take a look.

PS: Summer's amazing. Translation? Follow that woman!

[photo]

Meme For Me

I plan on writing up a legit post tomorrow, after picking up my sister from the airport at 6:30...am. After that. And lots and lots of caffeine. For now, here's a little something that the cutest insomniac I know tagged me in. Score.

1. Who is your style icon?
Style + me = nonexistent in my book. However, in an effort to abide by le rules, let's go with...Carrie Bradshaw. Screw the cliches on the latter, it's the damn truth.

[want her closet, stat]

2. Which is your favorite socialite book?
For the record, I just googled "socialite book" because I have no idea what exactly it means. But the Gossip Girl books immediately came to mind. I read them waaaay before the show was even a thought, and the only reason I stopped was because Ms. von Ziegesar busted out more books than I could keep up with.

3. Favorite party theme?
I guess I'd say any celebrity themed party is always a winner. Any excuse to dress up as Britney Spears. I mean...

4. Go to Halloween costume.
Don't have one? For shame. Liza and I were bad ass private school girls last year. That's all I got.

5. Extravagance you cannot live without?
Shoes. Heels, to be exact.

6. Living person you admire?
Sandra Bullock.

7. Greatest fear(s)?
Losing the ones I love. That and tornadoes. Dear GOD, tornadoes. Just had a nightmare involving one last night. Yeah, they freak. Me. Out.

8. Traits you deplore in yourself?
My amazing ability to overanalyze the life out of anything, being really sensitive and worrying.

9. Which talent would you most love to have?
To speak Hebrew fluently. That's more of a skill than a talent, but I'd kill to be able to do it.

10. Greatest achievement?
For now? Graduating with two degrees. Although it doesn't feel like it matters much now (thanks economy, love you too), I know it does.

Wanna play? Tag, you're (all) it.

Worth a Thousand Words

I just found this photo in my Israel archives (that word just makes it sound so much more professional, doesn't it?) and can't believe I nearly forgot about it! It's one from my friend Adam's camera and I think it's got to be my favorite of the entire trip, mainly because it's of all of us, including our beloved soldiers. We had just finished breakfast after an exhausting (and exhilarating) hike up Masada. And although our soldiers were about to leave us and return to their bases, for just a few moments -- captured by this photo -- we were all one, big, happy Jewish family.

PS: Can you find me?

Silent Saturday

[via my tumblr]