So, This Little Life of Mine?

[I have this weird feeling I've used this photo before, but it matches my semi-new blog design and that makes me happy]

I'm gonna let it shine.

Yes, I realize that the actual song's lyrics are, "this little light of mine." I'm adapting it. What?

As I was driving to the doctor's office to sort out a stupid little insurance issue (hi Obama health care plan, thanks for not letting me go back on my parents' plan until the age of 26), I got to thinking about...well, this little life of mine. This current little life of mine.

Like the fact that I do not have a full time job, and how much I loathe that fact. Hi world! I'm a writer/performer/blogger/social media lover/good with kids-er. Take your pick! And better yet? Hire me after you decide what hat you think it best for me to put on. Because damn it, I can wear any of 'em well.

Like the fact that if I actually had the nerve to put something under my Relationship Status on Facebook, it would read something like, Has No Effing CLUE Because It Might As Well Be One Big Joke...but shorter. If I had the cajones to spill my dating guts on here, I can bet all my Roulette winnings that you would either run to the bathroom before peeing in your pants, pick your jaw up off the floor, or both.

Like the fact that I have so many friendships in transition. Well, not so many persay...but more than I'd like. Not that I'd like to have any friendships in transition at all, but...oh forget it, you know what I mean. In high school and college -- college especially, we feel that these are the ones that'll stick, these are the ones for life. Because there's history, there's shared blood and experiences and heartbreak and soul searching. But then you grow up/mature/age/what-have-you, and you come to the realization that you're not the only one that does all that; the people around you do that too, and of course they do. Growing up/maturing/aging/what-have-you-ing is just a part of the life puzzle. And sometimes, even most of the time really, you don't grow together. Instead? You drift apart. And if you're an emotional basket case woman like I am, you find it really freaking hard to let go. But eventually, after dealing and learning to cope with it all, you do. You let go. And you move forward.

Like the fact that I am so flawed and crazy and heart-driven and worried about life. It's such a process, being who you are. And it's easier for some people and harder for others. I'd like to think (and do believe) that I fall somewhere smack dab in the middle of that spectrum. The goal for me? To get to the far end of that, to just completely be and live and freaking laugh and love and all those cliches. Because those cliches are so damn true, damn it.

So, you know, yeah. I got to thinking about all that, which can be wrapped up all pretty and tied with a bow with the label, This Little Life of Mine. I got to thinking about that. And I could only come up with one so very predictable but so very perfect resolution.

I'm gonna let it shine.

[photo via tumblr]